Wednesday, April 27, 2005

This and That

Yesterday, I had a tickle in my throat and was coughing. Reagan came up behind where I was sitting, started patting me on the back, and said, "Y'OK? Y'OK?" (as in, "Are you OK?").

On our daily evening walks, we pass a yard that has recently been re-mulched. The first time we went past, I mentioned that it smelled pretty gross. A couple of days later, while passing that same yard, Reagan waved her hand in front of her nose and said, "Tinky! Tinky!" Of course, by then the smell had dissipated, but she remembered that's where it had been stinky before.


A few days back, Reagan was playing with her Magna-Doodle. She paused for a moment, said, "Hug," and hugged, then kissed, her Magna-Doodle. She really loves her toys.

Back from the Mountains

I returned from my retreat to find Reagan basically unscathed (although she did have a couple of new boo-boos) and the house in pretty good order. Reagan seemed happy to see me and just kept jabbering at me for the first hour or so.

I have mixed feelings about my retreat time. On the positive side, the Cove is a beautiful facility. Having worked with some of the Grahams in their publishing endeavors, I can see how their perfectionistic tendencies really do produce excellence. I did also enjoy getting to know a few people that I didn't have much of a connection with before. So that was good.

Now for the negative. The sessions themselves were pretty disappointing. Because we were instructed to read the speaker's first book, I had hoped we would go deeper into the material. Instead, most of the time I felt as if I were being read to (yes, he was that kind of a speaker) from a book I had already read myself. He was a kind, softspoken man, but he just didn't do it for me as a speaker. I need a little more energy and excitement.

And now for the neutral, but interesting. It snowed while we were there! And not just a tiny snow that dissipates when it hits the ground. There was actually some accumulation. It was beautiful on the mountains, and, fortunately, it didn't cause us any driving problems.

All that said, I'm glad to be back. And I don't see any retreats in my near future. The anxiety of leaving Reagan (and Scott) far outweighed the benefits for me. Perhaps others were inspired, edified, or drawn closer to God. For me, I'm drawn closer to God when I watch Reagan sleeping peacefully, or when I spend quality time with Scott. I didn't need to drive ten hours to find God or myself. We're both here, together.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Tahra Time!

While surfing the NPT (that's Nashville Public Television) website, I realized that local kid's performer Tahra--of "Tahra Time" fame--would be performing today at Opry Mills. I knew Reagan, being a big fan, would want to see her, so we made plans to meet Scott there for the performance.

At first, Reagan was a little reserved, just sitting calmly on Daddy's lap. But once she realized she had permission to sing and dance along, she really warmed up. She jumped and danced and sang almost as much as she does at home with Tahra. A couple of times, Scott had to run grab her to keep her from going onstage. (She also tried to "undecorate" the stage by pulling a strand of tinsel that was camouflaging a cord.)

Despite my personal distaste for Tahra (she's a bit of a hippie/flower child with only a semi-decent voice), it was worth the trip to see Reagan enjoy herself. We might even become Tahra groupies, attending all her shows. Maybe.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

I'm Retreating

This weekend our Worship Arts Team from church is heading to The Cove, the Billy Graham Training Center in Asheville, NC. I'll be gone Friday morning through Sunday evening. And while Scott and I have left Reagan that long with her grandparents (when we went to Chicago for a weekend), I have never left Reagan alone with Scott for that long. In fact, he has never been "in charge" of her from morning until evening, even for just one day!

Now, I know that Scott is competent. He has done everything from feeding her breakfast in the morning to putting her down for bed at night--he's just never had to do it all in one day. And for 3 days!

And, when Scott and I went to Chicago, at least I had him with me to keep me from obsessing over Reagan constantly. This time, I'm with friends from church. Good friends, yes, but not the kind of friends I'm comfortable sharing my every neurotic thought with.

I know I'll return to a house still pretty much intact and a child none worse for the wear, but it's going to be a long weekend for me nonetheless. Fortunately, by the looks of our schedule, I won't have much time to worry. Busy, busy. I just hope I actually allow myself to enjoy this time and take it for what it's meant to be: a retreat.

Odds and Ends

Here are a few of the cute things Reagan has done in the last week:

Scott, Reagan, and I had gone for a stroller walk around our circle. When we returned, our neighbor Bill was out washing his car. Ashley, his 20-year-old stepdaughter, came out to see Reagan. As we were all visiting, Reagan kept getting closer and closer to Bill and all his car washing supplies. Before we knew it, she was dipping her hand in his bucket of sudsy water and "washing" his car with her hands. Wish we had the video camera--it was quite funny.

This goes under the category of "just plain sweet": Reagan and I were grocery shopping. After going down several aisles, Reagan began to reach for me. Now, after about 10 minutes, Reagan is usually ready to get out of the cart, so this was no surprise. I bent down to get closer to her face and she just grabbed me in a hug. Then she pulled back and kissed me. She wasn't looking for an escape from the cart--she just wanted a hug and kiss!

This week we got Reagan a new CD player, and I brought several of the CDs I had for her in the car back into her room. She immediately grabbed the Barney CD and started begging, "Barney! Barney!" I played it for her once through (it's only about a 15 minute CD with 5 songs). Yesterday, she was again begging for Barney. I put her in her crib (so I wouldn't have to sit in there with her and listen to Barney) and turned on the CD. Listening from my computer, I could hear that the CD had stopped. I asked her if she was ready to get out of her crib and she said, "Barney! Barney!" So...I started the CD again. After three times through, I finally had to pry her from the crib to bring her back into the bonus room to play. Crazy purple dinosaur!

And, finally, I just wanted to add that I love the Praise Baby CD that Grandma got Reagan for Easter. It is the sweetest thing to hear Reagan's little voice singing along to songs like "I Could Sing of Your Love Forever" and "Oh My Soul Bless God." Precious!

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Jen Is Pregnant!

God certainly has a sense of humor. I got a call from my college roommate this weekend, asking me how I dealt with morning sickness. She's about eight weeks along.

Here's the funny part: Several years ago, Jen and her husband, Tim, went through a whole battary of tests and fertility treatments. After countless months attempting to conceive, doctors finally told Jen and Tim there was little chance they would ever have a biological child. They decided to pursue adoption.

Now, Jen and Tim are the parents of two sisters from Russia, ages 12 and 13. It was a rough couple of years as the girls adjusted to their new life. (There was likely some physical abuse in their past, so the girls had trust issues as well as behavioral problems.) But, finally, it seemed like their little family had taken shape.

Isn't it funny how when we make up our mind about something, God comes along and changes it? Right now, Jen isn't jumping for joy about this baby--but I just know she will be, once she gets over that morning sickness hump. And, in the mean time, everyone else is excited enough to make up for it.

They've decided that if it's a boy, they'll name him Isaac, which means "he laughs." (If you don't know the Bible story, you can read it in Genesis 17.) It's very appropriate. Thank God for unexpected miracles.

Is Reagan a Bully?

So far, we have witnessed very little aggressive behavior from Reagan. She bit Scott a couple of times, when they were playing and wrestling--I think she was just caught up in the moment. And she occasionally will grab your nose and not let go or playfully slap at you. But only once have we seen her even slap at another child, and, again, I think she meant it playfully rather than maliciously (but we, of course, were mortified!).

But today when we went to check on Reagan in the toddler room between church services, the nursery volunteer told us Reagan had been involved in a little "shoving match" with another child--a BOY! We were told she was provoked (and I don't doubt it, knowing the boy involved), but she said Reagan had him pinned up against the wall. The nursery volunteer was rather amused by the whole thing, but I was, of course, appalled at Reagan's behavior!

Yes, it is a little humorous to picture Reagan in her pretty pink sundress pinning a boy up against the wall with her tiny arm. But, what if our kid becomes the bully in class? Ugh! Do they have charm school for toddlers?

Friday, April 15, 2005

The Photo Fiasco

Last year for Mother's Day, we had photos taken of Reagan and her cousin Ashley for Scott's mom. Nana loved them so much that she requested the same gift every year. So. . . last night we got the girls dressed up and took them to a studio.

I had high hopes. Last year the girls were only around 9 months and 14 months (Ashley being the oldest). We had quite a time getting them to both smile at the same time, being so young, but we did manage to get a decent picture. This year, I thought, both girls are more mature. They understand requests for a smile. They have such a good time together; all we have to do is capture that on film. Was I ever wrong!

It was clear from the start that Ashley was having none of this picture business. From what I understand, she has never enjoyed photo sessions. (Reagan, on the other hand, is a definite fan of the paparazzi.) Jennifer (her mother) began bribing her with the promise of a surprise when we were finished.

Reagan, while in a pretty good mood, was having a hard time sitting still. And when she did sit, she was leaning forward (toward the photographer and her Uncle Jason who were both trying to elicit smiles out of the girls).

Eventually, Ashley began whining (not quite crying), and Reagan joined in. (She's really quite the mimic these days.) Jennifer revealed the bribe: an icee! Ashley still failed to comply.

At one point--and this is a little fuzzy now--Reagan's foot was under Ashley's leg. Reagan somehow lifted her leg, which sent Ashley off balance, and she nearly fell completely off the table! This, of course, started Ashley wailing. Reagan, in turn, joined in.

Did we get the picture? Yes. Just one picture of the girls together. It's not the best ever, but it's cute. We even got individual pictures of the girls. (Is it shameful of me to mention that Reagan's took about 2 minutes, while Ashley's took more like 15? Well, call me shameful.) After the hard part was done, the girls laughed and played together in the lobby area. Then Ashley promptly reminded her mother about the icee.

Next year, we're dropping the girls off at Nana's house. She can take them for the photo herself.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Reagan's Favorite Words, Phrases, and Songs

Here's a list of the things Reagan is saying these days:

Okay
Daddy, Mama, Reagan (all together as a phrase)
Here it is!
Here you go (more like, "here go")
Love you
Hug, Kiss
Ready, set, go!
Sassy! (the dog next door)
Pig! (see earlier post: Playdate with Jenny)
Barney, Bop (the big purple dinosaur and his friend Baby Bop)
Shoes, sockock (that's socks)
Monkey (No, not the creature; that's actually the word for blanket. Go figure.)

The following are songs that Reagan bursts into spontaneously. She knows them entirely, and although one might not recognize all the words, you can certainly recognize the tune:

Deep and Wide (she also does the "Hmm and Wide..." version)
ABC song
Row, Row, Row Your Boat
I Love You (aka Barney song)
Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star
Jesus Loves Me
Are You Ready? (theme from Big Comfy Couch)
Sing Hosana (learned Palm Sunday at Aunt Sharon's Sunday school class)
Frere Jacques (yes, the French version)

The aforementioned are the songs she knows. However, she is not afraid to sing along with songs she is hearing for the first time. And, if I do say so myself, she has pretty good pitch for a not-yet-two-year-old.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Ready, Set, Go!

Yesterday afternoon, Reagan and Scott were playing outside while I planted a couple of herbs. Specifically, Scott was pushing Reagan around in her pink plastic car. Our driveway has a rather sharp incline, and Scott would push Reagan to the top of the driveway and then let her roll quickly down.

The first couple of times down Scott said, "Ready, set, go!" before letting her roll. By about the third time, Reagan took over the commands, and with her arm waving in time, she said, "Ready, set, go!" This went on for about fifteen minutes or so, and we pretty much had to drag Reagan inside when we were ready to go.

On Being an Older Mom

I'm 33. And I don't think of myself as particularly old. But consider this: I remember when my own mom was 33, because I was already 10! My parents married at 18, had my brother at 20, and had me at 23. That was pretty much the norm in the late 60s/early 70s. Now, it's more common for women to have babies well into their 40s. Here are some of what I consider to be the pros and cons:

Definite pro: I'm more mature. I don't even think of myself as the same person I was in my 20s. I could barely manage to care for myself then, much less take on the responsibility of a child.

Another bonus to waiting is that all my close relatives have already had kids. This is a twofold blessing. First, I was able to see different parenting styles in action and learn from their successes (and sometimes minor mistakes) what works and what doesn't. Second, we are the recipients of an enormity of hand-me-downs--clothes, toys, and even baby care products.

A big upside is that Scott and I have been in the workforce long enough that we are financially able to have children without it becoming a huge strain. Everybody says if you wait until you can afford it to have kids, you never will. But, really, we haven't felt a huge impact financially from having Reagan, and I know this is because we had time to prepare.

Now for the con side. As far as I can tell, the only downside of being an older mom is that I just don't have the energy I did when I was in my 20s. I'm trying to do some things that will help compensate for this (exercising, eating better, taking supplements), but the fact is, something happens to your body after 30. I can't seem to handle staying up late anymore. At the end of the day when Reagan goes to bed, I'm often ready to follow soon after.

When I weigh the good against the bad, I know that, for us, being older parents was the way to go. However, health risks do go up for childbearing once a woman reaches 35, and childbirth gets increasingly more risky the older a woman gets. So, don't expect me to become one of those really older moms, having babies in my 50s--my parents, Reagan's grandparents, are only in their mid-50s. Something about grandmother's having babies just doesn't seem normal to me.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Playdate with Jenny

Yesterday, Reagan was scheduled to spend a little quality time with my good friend Jenny. After a bit of confusion that could rival any classic comedy sketch (us going to her house, her coming to our house), we finally met up with Jenny at her house.

As soon as we walked in, Reagan followed her ears to find Ruthie, Jenny's golden retriever, in the back yard. "Doggie...doggie...doggie," was about all Reagan had to say for the first five minutes. Scott and I said our goodbyes and left Reagan (seemingly unmoved by our departure) in the caring, attentive hands of Jenny.

What you need to understand about Ruthie is that she's rather advanced in years--a senior citizen by dog standards. When we arrived a couple of hours later, Ruthie was resting at the far end of the fenced backyard, trying to recover from her time with Reagan. Reagan was now yelling, "Doggie! Doggie!" but Ruthie by this time had lost interest. Reagan had worn her out, running the length of the yard, chasing her in an attempt to pet/hug/grab her.

Unfortunatly for both Reagan and Ruthie, Jenny's younger, more energetic dog, Nestle, was quarantined in a kennel upstairs with a hurt leg. Reagan did go visit with him, but Nestle couldn't come out and play.

After play time, the four of us had dinner at Famous Dave's (a yummy BBQ joint), where Reagan was enchanted by the giant pig that traveled the restaurant, visiting with diners. Reagan would call, "Pig! Pig! Please!" (As in, "please come to my table!")

A good time was had by all, and Reagan--and, I'm sure, Ruthie--slept very well last night.

Raising a Stripper

What is the deal with Reagan's sudden fascination with taking her shirt off? I tried putting her down for a nap THREE TIMES yesterday. Each time I peeked in to check on her, she was still awake but shirtless.

Again today, as I write, she is in her crib (supposed to be napping) with her shirt off. What is that about?

I know I wrote about what a great sleeper she is in my last post, and she really is--at night. Maybe that's because her pajamas are hard to get out of. (They're the footie kind that zip up and even have a snap to cover the top of the zipper.) Before we discovered PJs with that very important snap, we had given Reagan the nickname of Elvis, after finding her with her PJs unzipped to her navel.

In her defense, Reagan traditionally naps about 2-3 hours every day. But since she has discovered that she can take her shirt off, her naps have become a little more unpredictable.

Ugh! Guess I'm going to have to start buying her shirts that fit like a glove!

Friday, April 08, 2005

Reagan at 20 Months

Why didn't I think of this before? A blog is the perfect medium for keeping track of Reagan's daily development and latest "cute thing" she's doing. And, to be quite honest, I haven't been especially great at charting all her accomplishments in her baby book.

At this point in her young life, Reagan is a bundle of energy. She loves spinning in circles, dancing, running, and climbing. Her new favorite thing to climb on is the kitchen table; she climbs onto a chair, then onto the table, and then tries to touch the light fixture. Usually, we catch her before she can get it. Just last week at church, Reagan climbed onto the "snack center" table and tried to put herself into one of the highchair seats. Fortunately, we were in charge of her toddler room, so she didn't cause any other parents to panic.

Language-wise, Reagan is in constant chatter mode. We still don't understand a lot of what she says, but there are some clear phrases and sentences that are coming through. She says things like, "here it is" or "more, please." She can also sing her alphabet, although you might not recognize all the letters. You will, however, recognize the song. Reagan has been very musical from an early age. She love to sing along with the radio, even if she doesn't know the song. She's also very into clapping along to music.

Reagan's favorite show is still "Barney." And while he once annoyed me to no end, I have come to see him as a true friend--especially when Reagan is being difficult. She will almost always sit still to watch that big purple dinosaur.

"Sesame Street" and "The Big Comfy Couch" are also favorites. Earlier this week, Reagan was imitating Loonette the clown (from "Couch") by pulling back the cushions and looking for Molly on our own couch. It was pretty funny. Guess you had to be there to truly understand.

Reagan and her cousin Ashley are the best of friends. (Ashley is five months older than Reagan.) The giggle when they see each other and play very well together, with only minor disagreements over toys.

As of yesterday, Reagan has a new boo-boo that consists of a bruise/bump on her forehead and a tiny rug burn on her nose. She fell down a couple of stairs and collided with the banister. She still has the remains of a boo-boo on her finger, where she cut it on a cabinet latch--a cabinet that she shouldn't have been into in the first place. We often remark that it's amazing that she's not black and blue all the time with her crazy antics.

That's about it for now. I'll try to update this blog frequently with the latest and greatest from Reagan.

Valerie (Reagan's Mom)

Nothing Better than a Sleeping Baby

Reagan is an excellent sleeper. Adding up night and naps, she probably gets 14-16 hours of sleep/day. And, without sounding like a bragger, she has been sleeping through the night since she was 7 weeks old. So how did we do it? Well, I'm sure some of it was that we were just lucky. But there are a few hints that helped us out.

First, from the time that we brought her home from the hospital, we made a point to feed her every three hours during the day--even if it meant waking her up to feed her. Then, at night, we would let her sleep as long as she would. (Some lactation nurses don't recommend letting newborns sleep more than four hours at a time, but our pediatrician said it was fine, so I chose to believe him.)

When she was several months old, we were still either holding or rocking Reagan to sleep before putting her down. Somewhere around a year or so, we decided we would try putting her down awake and letting her "cry it out." On the first night, she cried about five minutes. Same for the second. By the third night, she didn't even cry.

Now, at 20 months, Reagan happily goes down awake. Sometimes when we can sense that she's getting tired or cranky, we'll say, "Want to go night-night?" and she'll resond, "Night-night." She actually WANTS to go to bed!

We're not without our bumps in the road (especially when she spends the night with grandparents!), but we are well-rested parents overall. Every child is different, and I don't claim to be an expert. But this worked for us. If you can tolerate a little crying, you will probably have a happier, better-rested baby in the end.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Deep Thoughts on Life and Death

Wow, I didn't realize how hard it was going to be to motivate myself to do this. I think part of the problem is that I have so many ideas spinning around in my head that it's hard to decide what to write about. Hmmm...maybe I'll just write about the last couple of days.

My neighbor has cancer. That, in itself, is pretty unremarkable. I mean, people get cancer all the time. But my neighbor is only 20. She actually first got cancer (osteosarcoma, to be exact) at 18. She was a vibrant senior member of her high school soccer team when she began noticing the pain. After a grueling battle which included surgery, a donor bone (who even knew they did that!), and chemo, she beat it and life returned, pretty much, to normal. She had even enrolled in college. But it was sitting in class that she started to experience pain again, this time in her lower back/tailbone area. Tests confirmed that the cancer had come back, and this time the doctors haven't offerred much hope to Ashley and her family. She has been given only months to live.

Like any good mother, Judy is seeking alternative treatments--supplements, healthy foods, and perhaps even a clinical trial if one becomes available. I'm helping her do some of the legwork on the internet, and the enormity of information out there is overwhelming. Seemingly everyone has heard of some wonder tablet or holistic physician that we absolutely must get/talk with/look into. People are trying so hard to be helpful, but this bounty of information sometimes confuses, rather than enlightens.

Ashley's attitude is great. I'm not sure she's so "on board" with the diet and supplement regime, but I think she understands--as few young women her age could--that she needs to comply, if not for her own health, than for her mother's sanity. Judy needs to know that she made every effort, explored every option, did everything she possibly could to keep Ashley alive.

Ashley and her family are believers. Ashley has faced death in the face before and won. This time, she may not win the battle. But in her amazing 20-year-old wisdom, she understands that in the end, she will be victorious. First Corinthians 15:54-55 says: "Death has been swallowed up in victory. Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?"

Sure, we want to keep Ashley here with us, but it's selfish, really. We like having her around. But if and when Ashley does leave this world, she won't be missing it. She'll have moved on to a place so incomparable to anything we can even conjure up in our little minds. Don't pity Ashley. Pity those of us she'll leave behind.